Have you ever had Quaker's Oatmeal? Or maybe their grits? Very delicious, right? Not what I thought, after seeing this very spooky commercial.
I couldn't sleep, and it was 3 AM in the morning. I had nothing else to do. I was not in the mood to play any of my cool and awesome hentai games on Steam. There was nothing on Netflix. So I decided to watch some good old cable television with DirecTV. I decided to watch some good old FXX, some of my favorite shows are on that network. I was watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It is one of my favorite shows and I was rolling on the floor laughing. The person down below told me to shut the fuck up over the phone because I was making too much noise and I had to be more quiet. However, it was all fun and games until a certain thing happened.
It was time for commercial break. I picked up my phone to pass the time but I heard a weird sound. It was a test pattern. On the test pattern, it said, "Lost Quaker Oats Commercial", along with timestamps. Quakers Oats? The oatmeal brand? Why was there a test pattern? However, before I could ask those questions, the commercial started.
It showed a drawing of a wheat field during sunrise, and the music that was playing was somewhat eerie and odd. Out of nowhere, a blurry figure appeared. I jumped a little bit because the figure scared me. Over the course of 5 seconds, the figure got less blurry. It was a spooky distorted image of the Quaker Oats man. I was really spooked. The figure stayed on screen for 3 seconds, until it was replaced by a poorly drawn Quaker Oats man. I could not help but snicker at the sight, but I was also very creeped still by the music and what I have previously saw.
That was not it. The Quaker Oats man said with shitty lipsyncing, "Time to rise and shine." His voice echoed. I was also startled at that. "You deserve an oats of the highest caliber." he then said. What is he talking about? Who made this commercial and who voiced him? He has a voice? I still had a lot of questions. "Wanna try my wheat? Come get some grains, friend!" He said in a friendly, yet creepy voice, like Pennywise the dancing clown from the movie IT. No, Quaker oats man. I did not want your grains. He then made a weird face with his mouth for a few seconds and then got back to talking. "My barley's top the shelf! I'm a man of my word!" Just when I started to think it was all over, something even worse happened.
The distorted Quakers Oats man was back. However, he was bigger and he was made out of grains as the background. Text popped up on the screen.